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Well here we are into the New Year and as a New Year rolls around it makes you look back at the last year to see where you are compared to last year.
My daughter seems more rattled than she did last year. I think alot of that has to do with the point that I no longer will answer her questions and am mad at her 99% of the time. I refuse to help someone who won't help themselves.
As far as my love life - I'm still trying to figure out why someone says that the love and want you - but only wants you when another person is paying you attention and you are paying attention back. They will still continue to do what caused you to end the relationship in the first place. I always think that it's a still need to have their cake and eat it to. Unfornatutely, all they've done is push me farther and farther away. I will never understand this person - as I'm not sure they understand themselves.
Luckily the weather has been warmer enough sometimes that I've had time to go riding and that has become my idea place to just not have to think. I've been told that to see me totally relaxed - just put me with Mercades. Alot of people wonder why I bought a horse - to me - that was the best money spent ever. She wants nothing more
of me - than to feed - water and love her, and in return she gives me the inner peace that I so need right now in my life.
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2 comments:
sorry things with kayla are so tough. in time the two of you will discover what you both need in order to live peacefully together. i know that it can't be easy, it is hard to see someone go down a path and be helpless, when really they are not. you are in my prayers. mostly that you find the time to be with your horse and clear your head so you can think.
Tammy, I have to tell you how my time spent with Kayla a few weeks ago sooooo blessed my heart! I had never met her, and only knew of her what you have told me. She is a beautiful person! I see you in her. Maybe you two are just too much alike! I know that is hard to hear when you are frustrated! She and I talked for almost an hour and I really hated to leave. She needed someone to talk to and I was available (I was waiting to pick Emma up from dance....story of my life!!!!!) So, be blessed in knowing you are a good mom and you are enough! She will find her way. She is searching....it is obvious! Take care of you! I love the horse story! Sometimes, we just need to know what we have to offer someone (or something) is ENOUGH! If there is anything I can do to help fill in time gaps with Kayla....let me know! I loved visiting with her and found we have much in common. Have a good weekend!
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